A Little bit from Small Town

Small Town was Produced by Annex Theater

Scene changes to the Coroner's Office. This scene is done behind a white sheet or screen. So, that it is all in shadows. BUD plays the CORONER.

SHERIFF
Mornin' Junius.  You said you got to see me?

CORONER
Sorry to wake you Sheriff.

SHERIFF
No problem.  I was watchin' some movie 'bout radioactive ants.

CORONER
I seen that movie.  You get to the part where they eat that ladies nose?

SHERIFF
Yeah.

CORONER
You didn't miss nothin' after that. I think you should take a look at this dead mailman.

SHERIFF
Midge in the front office says he was floating in the reservoir.

CORONER
Yeah.  Washed up outside the junior high school lunchroom. Some kids were smackin' it with a stick.

SHERIFF
We know who it is?

CORONER
Jack Pillsby.  Pretty sure.  What's left of him sure looks like Jack.  Remember when Jack barricaded himself in his fall out shelter?  Bit off his tongue and spat it at the Feds?  Man ought to have a right to own a few war heads.  This is America.

SHERIFF
I liked Jack.

CORONER
Everybody liked Jack.  Real shame.  What else you find?

CORONER
Hell, it's pretty interesting.  I've been poking around in here for four hours and it just keeps getting better.

SHERIFF
What's that orange stuff?

CORONER
Cheetos.

SHERIFF
Cheetos.

CORONER
I think that's Cheetos.  Yes.

SHERIFF
Jesus.

CORONER
What kind of sicko inserts Cheetos under the first epidermal layer?

SHERIFF
That is a question.  Who likes Cheetos?

CORONER
Hell.  Everybody likes Cheetos.

SHERIFF
So it doesn't narrow things down for us at all?

CORONER
No.

SHERIFF
Well crap. What else?

CORONER
No arms.  No legs.  Looks like taken off with a chainsaw.  Most of his head's still here.

SHERIFF
What's missing?

CORONER
Well, some brain is gone.

SHERIFF
Can you narrow that down son?

CORONER
There's a little heart design carved into the cerebral cortex.

SHERIFF
What does that mean?

CORONER
This is a puzzler.  I been thinkin' on it hard.  We know a few things.  Whoever killed these mailmen has a chainsaw and he's kinda sentimental.  Otherwise why the heart?

SHERIFF

Why the heart?  That's a good question.

CORONER
You know Sheriff, I don't believe in the boogey man or monsters.  I'm a grown man.  I seen a lot of real upsetting things in this line of work.  But most people don't like to kill each other.  They just get to where they can't see no other way and then they feel pretty bad for it.  But this guy whoever done this he likes killing.  I mean, he really likes killing.  And he's got something against the honest hardworking men and women at the US postal service.  Ain't normal.  Ain't normal at all.  It's monstrous.

SHERIFF
Is that a spleen?

CORONER
Yeah. You wanna touch it?