Salty’s Sea Palace

Salty’s Sea Palace

10 Minute Play
Character Breakdown

Captain Randy- The manager. He wears a Captain costume and a fish head
Navigator Kyle- The Waiter. Wears a sailor suit and a fish head
Sea Chef Rick- Metal head with the longest greasiest hair imaginable. He is filthy. He has a fish head too.
Customer Dad- Polo Shirt wearing, cargo short sporting, prick
Carter- Five year old boy
Mermaid Brenda- Older German chain smoking waitress/ janitor squeezed into a poorly stitched mermaid costume. Yep she has a fish head
Mindy- Pretty
Kid- Kid with information. Could be played by Kyle, Carter, Dad or Brenda

Setting
Salty’s Sea Palace. A family restaraunt.

Synopsis
A musical about the horrors of customer service.

Production History
Salty’s Sea Palace was produced by Three Card Monty As Part Of 14/48
Selected Excerpt
Kyle
Hi mateys. I’m navigator Kyle your fishy flounder. How can I steer your ship today?
Customer
I want the salty sea lion super scooper. What do you want Carson?
Carson
Screams
Customer
Carson
Carson
Screams
Customer
Could you put your head back on? It’s freaking the shit out of my kid.
Kyle
Its hot in there man.
Carson
Screams a whole lot
Kyle is impassive. Someone throws a french fry at his head. He peels it off his ear.
Customer
I think I need to see your manager.
Kyle
Look dude. I don’t have to wear the head when I’m taking orders. That’s the rule at Saltys Sea Palace. It’s fucking hot in there. Look at my head. Look at it. That’s a blister on my forehead. From the fucking fin.
Customer
You cant say Fuck in front of my kid, you asshole.
Carson
Screams
Customer
Get your manager right now Navigator Kyle.
Kyle
Fine. Look. My heads on. Okay?
Customer
I can’t understand you.
Kyle
That’s because I have a fucking fish on my head you dick.
Customer
Rises from his seat and shouts out
Excuse me. I need the Manager.