tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37181004806257421402024-02-07T12:08:16.327-08:00Pretty CreepyKelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-24645328811314716032017-06-13T19:03:00.001-07:002017-06-13T19:04:38.854-07:00Medicine Ball is Coming!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxUklQK7doLD2xnzDMcZFJ8PReiHgF0pFwzH4-ewoMDTSytd0jG0sBliwe5cHA-hX6CErzkFrvGFMpx2uFDRwU8hmtxbMBuQew-8IDp-LhoyetexqvDxANPh-p1SItPBaAqsgZ1KsHnSk/s1600/1494122606.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxUklQK7doLD2xnzDMcZFJ8PReiHgF0pFwzH4-ewoMDTSytd0jG0sBliwe5cHA-hX6CErzkFrvGFMpx2uFDRwU8hmtxbMBuQew-8IDp-LhoyetexqvDxANPh-p1SItPBaAqsgZ1KsHnSk/s200/1494122606.png" width="200" /></a>Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-67706538286761806312017-06-13T19:00:00.001-07:002017-06-13T19:07:31.037-07:00Medicine Ball!<div class="blog-header" style="background-color: white; border: none !important; color: #8e8e8e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.5 !important; margin: 0px !important; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px !important; width: 615px;">
<h2 class="blog-title" style="border: none !important; color: #3681c1; font-family: "Maven Pro", "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em; line-height: 1.5 !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase;">
<a class="blog-title-link blog-link" href="http://seattletheatreworks.org/blog/playwright-kelleen-blanchard-talks-about-her-approach-to-writing-with-a-few-fun-facts-along-the-way" style="color: #3681c1; text-decoration-line: none;">PLAYWRIGHT KELLEEN BLANCHARD </a></h2>
<div class="blog-date" style="float: left; line-height: 1; padding: 0px !important;">
<span class="date-text" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0px 8px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">6/9/2017</span></div>
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<a class="blog-link" href="http://seattletheatreworks.org/blog/playwright-kelleen-blanchard-talks-about-her-approach-to-writing-with-a-few-fun-facts-along-the-way#comments" style="color: #3681c1; text-decoration-line: none;">0 Comments</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="color: #3681c1;"><img alt="Picture" src="http://seattletheatreworks.org/uploads/3/5/4/5/35457900/12719469-10153502300639632-8231633762053975703-o_orig.jpg" style="border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px !important; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle; width: auto;" /></a><br />
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<div class="paragraph" style="font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.5; margin: 0px; padding: 0.5em 0px;">
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">1.) What draws you to being playwright? </span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">I like what people don't say when they're saying a bunch of nothing. And I love creating worlds where justice sometimes happens and weirdos win. It's a nice reprieve from reality.</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">2.) What attracts you to the Medicine Ball platform?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">I enjoy trying to puzzle together plays quickly and how fun to compete against those pesky poets. </span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">3.) In your personal opinion, what is the most under-rated stage show?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">Shucks. Aren't they all? </span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">4.) Define unity in your own words.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">Getting together- often to fight the man. I approve.</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">5.) A glass of Two Buck Chuck - or a can of PABST Blue Ribbon?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">Glass of chuck. I'm classy.</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">6.) If you could ask Shakespeare *one* question...what would it be?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">I don't know. Meeting your heroes is never as good as just enjoying their art. </span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">7.) What is something we can all agree on?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<em style="position: relative;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a;">A lot of people seem to like baby animals.</span></em></div>
</div>
Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-22089856337325224652014-11-05T09:39:00.001-08:002014-11-05T09:39:17.117-08:00A Little bit from Small Town<div class="MsoNormal">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Small Town was Produced by Annex Theater</i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scene changes to the
Coroner's Office. This scene is done behind a white sheet or screen. So, that
it is all in shadows. BUD plays the CORONER.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
Mornin' Junius. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You said you got to see
me?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
Sorry to wake you Sheriff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
No problem. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was watchin' some movie
'bout radioactive ants.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
I seen that movie. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You get to the part
where they eat that ladies nose?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
Yeah.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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CORONER<br />
You didn't miss nothin' after that. I think you should take a look at this dead
mailman.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
SHERIFF<br />
Midge in the front office says he was floating in the reservoir.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
Yeah. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Washed up outside the junior high
school lunchroom. Some kids were smackin' it with a stick.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
We know who it is?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
Jack Pillsby. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pretty sure. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What's left of him sure looks like Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember when Jack barricaded himself in his
fall out shelter? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bit off his tongue and
spat it at the Feds? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Man ought to have a
right to own a few war heads. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
America.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
I liked Jack.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CORONER<br />
Everybody liked Jack. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Real shame. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What else you find?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
Hell, it's pretty interesting. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been
poking around in here for four hours and it just keeps getting better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
What's that orange stuff?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CORONER<br />
Cheetos.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
Cheetos.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
I think that's Cheetos. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
What kind of sicko inserts Cheetos under the first epidermal layer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SHERIFF<br />
That is a question. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who likes Cheetos?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
Hell. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everybody likes Cheetos.<o:p></o:p></div>
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SHERIFF<br />
So it doesn't narrow things down for us at all?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
CORONER<br />
No.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
SHERIFF<br />
Well crap. What else?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
CORONER<br />
No arms. No legs. Looks like taken off with a chainsaw. Most of his head's still here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
SHERIFF<br />
What's missing?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
CORONER<br />
Well, some brain is gone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SHERIFF<br />
Can you narrow that down son?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
CORONER<br />
There's a little heart design carved into the cerebral cortex.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
SHERIFF<br />
What does that mean?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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CORONER<br />This is a puzzler. I been
thinkin' on it hard. We know a few
things. Whoever killed these mailmen has
a chainsaw and he's kinda sentimental. Otherwise
why the heart?<o:p></o:p></div>
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SHERIFF<o:p></o:p></div>
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Why the heart? That's
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CORONER<br />
You know Sheriff, I don't believe in the boogey man or monsters. I'm a grown man. I seen a lot of real upsetting things in this
line of work. But most people don't like
to kill each other. They just get to
where they can't see no other way and then they feel pretty bad for it. But this guy whoever done this he likes
killing. I mean, he really likes
killing. And he's got something against
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SHERIFF<br />
Is that a spleen?<o:p></o:p></div>
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CORONER<br />
Yeah. You wanna touch it?<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-64814837203710617822014-11-04T23:08:00.004-08:002014-11-04T23:08:42.819-08:00Office Party<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">MELANIE<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>don’t think I should go to the Office Christmas party anyway because, last year Kurt Nittles pinned me<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to the
Break-room refrigerator. He said I was a vixen and seductress, and that every
time I use the fax machine I wink at him, and bend over in his direction. I
don’t think this is true because, I’m not much of a winker. I am allergic to
adhesives, and toner ink though so, I could be sneezing, which from a distance
resembles a wink and you know, I bend over a lot. To get things. I try not to
do it provocatively. I sure don’t mean to tempt Kurt Nittles. I don’t mean that
all. Kurt Nittles smells exactly like Nacho cheese. And even if he didn’t. Even
if he smelled like hamburger helper, which is my favorite smell, I still
wouldn’t be winking and bending at him. I don’t have affairs with men from
Accounts. I don’t have time. Not at all. I have three Pekinese at home and they
are my first priority. Especially Tinkers. Because, yesterday Tinkers was
making a noise like tttp kkkss hhhrk. Which makes me nervous. I hope he hasn’t
eaten my crimping iron again. So, I’m probably not gonna even be able to go to
the Christmas Party. Even if Kurt<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nittles wasn’t going. He is though. He sent me a fax of his mustache
today. I guess he just got it trimmed.<o:p></o:p></div>
Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-16213479203061231362014-11-04T22:57:00.000-08:002014-11-04T22:57:35.389-08:00Salty's Sea Palace- Performed at 14/48<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Salty’s Sea Palace<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">By<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kelleen Conway
Blanchard<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Setting<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Salty’s Sea Palace. A
family restaurant<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">The employees dance a
choreographed dance and sing a fishy song<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>with their fish heads down. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">They set out a fish
stick with a candle in it </span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Thar she blows little sailor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson </span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Everyone exits except
Kyle, Carson and Customer</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Hi mateys. I’m navigator Kyle your fishy
flounder. How can I steer your ship today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I want the salty sea lion super scooper. What
do you want Carson?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Could you put your head back on? It’s freaking
the shit out of my kid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Its hot in there man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams a whole lot<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kyle is impassive. Someone throws a french fry
at his head. He peels it off his ear.</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I think I need to see your manager.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Look dude. I don’t have to wear the head when
I’m taking orders. That’s the rule at Saltys<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sea Palace. It’s hot in there. Look at my head. Look at it. That’s a
blister on my forehead. From the fucking fin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">You cant say Fuck in front of my kid, you
asshole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Get your manager<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>right now Navigator Kyle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Fine. Look. My heads on. Okay?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I can’t understand you.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">That's because I have a fucking fish on my
head you dick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Rises from his seat
and shouts out</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Excuse me. I need the Manager.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I’m the Manager Sir. Captain Randy here to
make your trip at saltys sea palace smoo-ooth sailing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">How are you little sailor?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Screams and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>takes his pants off. Runs in a circle making
fart noises.</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Customer</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy, Carson and I came to Saltys Sea
Palace today for a special underwater<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>treat and your<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Navigator Kyle
here wouldn’t put his head on. It scared the fuckshit out of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my kid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle </span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Randy, I don’t have to wear the head unless
we’re singing the birthday song. That’s in the employee handbook.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Okay Navigator Kyle, lets just work out this knotty
problem with balloon animals. Who likes balloon animals?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Carson pees on the
floor</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 21.0pt;">
<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Randy that little dude just whizzed on the
fucking floor.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">WALK THE PLANK KYLE. RIGHT NOW. WALK THE
PLANK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><br />
Fine Randy. Eat shit man. Where you gonna get your weed now?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">GET OUT KYLE .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Kyle throws his fish
head on the floor and exits flipping Captain Randy off the entire time</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Captain Randy</span></b><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Makes a terrible
balloon animal</span></i><span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Look Carson. It’s a balloon...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>squid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-43958509220151953132014-11-04T21:21:00.001-08:002014-11-04T22:57:59.983-08:00A little bit of Hearts are Monsters<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Hearts are Monsters was produced by Macha Monkey Theater and was nominated for a Gregory Award for Best New Play.</span></u></div>
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<br /></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Scene one<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Setting<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande";">The High School Gym. Coach Snell is
Center. Marcy enters.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Mister Snell? Mister Snell?
Can I talk to you Mister Snell?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Uh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m Marcy Moore. I’m in your 4th period class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I know who you are. I knew
your Mother. She had normal feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have weak arches Mister Snell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy I have the intramural
wrestling finals in 3 minutes. Last time I was late someone got pregnant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to talk to you<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mister Snell, about my grade in 4th period
Gymnasium class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">You have 47 seconds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On account of, I’m failing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, you are Marcy. You are failing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I was wondering Mister
Snell, if maybe I could not fail that class. Because, if I fail 4th period
Gymnasium I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>will not be admitted to
Stanford or Harvard<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>despite my otherwise
perfect GPA and my many extracurricular activities including President of the
Molecular Science Club, Founder of the Small Mammal Club<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and Treasurer of the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Insect Enthusiasts. I do not want to end up a
high school drop out Mister Snell. 48% of high school drop outs end up on the
streets getting in cars with strange men for five dollars. I’m gonna need a
better job than that Mister Snell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcy when I took the job at Taft Memorial
High School<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promised Principal Togtape
three things; school Spirit , excellent Hygiene and a State Championship for
the Taft Sea Urchins. We won the Championship thanks to Jack Webb and his
overactive adrenal gland. And hygiene and school spirit are part of my
character. Smell me Marcy. Exactly. I smell like nothing. I use a rinse of 40%
hospital grade disinfectant four times a day everywhere. Do you understand?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mister Snell I have a disability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Your files don’t list a
disability Marcy. Your files list 12 years of not dressing for class, of
falling asleep inside the equipment closet, of eating cold cuts on the wrestling
mats, of being a Goddamn no show. Marcy you wanna go through life a Goddamn no
show?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure Mister Snell. But, you shouldn’t
say goddamn because cursing is against Taft Memorial High School regulations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy I’m late and let me
tell you something; to be early is to be on time, to on time is to be late, and
to be late is unacceptable. Right now I’m 3 minutes past late and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2 minutes into unacceptable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Mister Snell, in gymnasium
class when we play baseball, my twin sister Wendy hits me in the back of the
head with the ball, and when we play volleyball and soccer and even umm when we
went bowling, she hits me in the back of the head with the ball. And because of
my disability Mister Snell it makes me pee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I’m sorry. It makes me
urinate. If I get hit in the back of the head, it makes me urinate. Because,
when I was born, I was born with all of my insides on the outside of my body.
And they had to scoop them back in. Plus, give me some chimpanzee parts. it’s
not my fault. My family is nobility. Most of my cousins married their sisters
and things like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Your cousin married his
sister and that’s why you can’t play volleyball?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes sir. Yes Mister Snell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy, I’m gonna do you
a<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>favor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Thanks Mister Snell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy I’m gonna fail you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Mister Snell that’s not so
much a super good favor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy, I’m gonna fail you
and you’re gonna learn something .You’re gonna learn that nobody hands you a free
pass in this life. You gotta just get on the bus. You gotta pay your fare. You
gotta run the race. Ain’t nobody gonna jump those hurdles for you. Life is a
bear and you gotta wrestle it. You gotta get your hands on it and gouge out
it’s bear eyes and rip out its bear tongue and eat its bear entrails.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack enters<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey Coach I got these red bumps. Things are
swollen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Hi Jack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Don’t talk to me you monkey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack remember when we were square dance
partners in third grade and I said I loved<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>you and I showed you the scar on my back where I used to have a tail? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">No.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Me neither. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy go home. Tell your
Mother... I don't know. I don't know what you should tell your Mother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">My Mother is still in love
with my dead Daddy. She has Cook set a place for him at the dinner table and
she never drinks his gin. Daddy hated if someone drank his gin. He needed it.
Like medicine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy go home<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or I'll fail you for gym class for all four
years retro-actively.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">You can't do that.
Legally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bye Jack. Good luck with the
big football game.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">I don’t need luck
Monkey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can kill a man in 32 seconds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Rabbit punch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Marcy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Oh. I’ve never been rabbit
punched. I was pantsed in Advanced History last year though. It was pretty
embarrassing because it was Wednesday and I was wearing underpants that said
Monday. I still got an A on the quiz we had on The Baton Death March though.
Because, I am focused. Also, Death Marches are pretty interesting. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">( pause)</i> Well, Okay then I have to feed
my mole rats.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">She exits<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">You go for the neck or the
skull?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Throat. You gotta grab and
pull.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No son. You twist. You go for a man’s throat
you want to finish the job. You rip and twist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">A buck knife in his ear
canal is good too though. Yeah?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, if you’re lucky enough to be holding a
buck knife when you need it. Thumbs in the eye sockets, sleeper hold. Son, I
know at least 53 ways to kill a man with just my knuckles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">You think we got a chance
against the Louisville fighting Wombats.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Jack<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">If we play defense. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;">Coach Snell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-text-raise: 9.0pt; position: relative; top: -9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here. Here’s some salve for that rash.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-8142259120537642112014-11-04T21:17:00.002-08:002014-11-04T23:01:46.881-08:00Bad Girls! A Spin The Bottle special!Bad Girls!<br />
<br />
Bad Girls was performed at Annex Theater's Spin The Bottle<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
I’ve always liked
the bad girls. Ever since Brenda Mintle in 7th grade, set the teacher's lounge on fire I been wired that way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
I been with four muggers,
two car thieves, and an exotic pet smuggler since high school. I can’t help it.
I like a girl who can hot wire a police car, I don’t mind the smell of
gunpowder, and I’m real good at hiding stolen goods. I never rat anybody out, and I always visit my ladies in the
pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
So, when Thursday
happened it was just fate and out of my control. I was working late at the Sip
N’ Pump like always. Ever since my last girlfriend went to jail for extortion
and baby kidnapping, I’ve been working double shifts to keep her in Camel
Lights. So, it was late and I heard the bell and I thought maybe it was that
kid with the gold tooth that steals corn nuts. So, I didn’t even turn around,
because, what do I care if Goldie steals nuts from the man? Especially, when
“the man” is Mrs. Berminia, a lady who keeps her toenail clippings in a jar on
her desk and makes me wear a plastic visor that bruises my temple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then, I feel cold steel in my back and a
sweet soft voice says.” I’m robbing this place turd, so let’s get to it.” It
isn’t that little corn nut boy. This is someone else. Her face is hidden behind
a ski mask but the smell is achingly familiar. Strawberry Lip Smackers. Brenda Mintle from 7th grade. I turn
to face her. “ You can take whatever shit you want, Brenda. I think we even got
extra wine coolers in the back, if you still like the Pina Colada I can get you
about eleven cases, whatever you need...” “ You don’t know me.” She says. “ I’m
not anybody you know. But, yeah load up some wine coolers and all the lip smackers
you got. Empty the cash drawer and I’m just gonna tie you to the Slurpee
machine for safekeeping. Okay?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“ Yeah,
Yeah.” I say, “ You feel free to tie me to any kinda machine you like.” And I
sink to my knees in front of a stack of big gulp cups. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Brenda shoots the
security camera and pockets the cash register cash then, tears off her mask and
presses her mouth on mine. “ I knew.” I whisper. “ I been waiting for you all
these years.” I say. “ I don’t like talkers much.” She sighs into my ears “ My
Momma was a talker, and all it got her were four, unwanted babies, and a house
on wheels. I like action” I close my eyes, I am exploding and expanding. I am
the universe. I open my eyes, blinking against the yellow, fluorescent lights..
Happy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
I imagine Brenda
and me riding away from this town, into the desert, or the mountains, living on
the lam from the law, sleeping naked next to our gun rack, foraging for food in
the wilderness. Maybe raising little outlaw babies out there. Teaching those
kids to steal credit cards from lost tourists, or squeeze ransom money from old
ladies for their Pekinese. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Brenda pulls her
face-mask over her thick black hair. “Help me load this pallet of peach schnapps
onto my truck,” she snaps. I do it. I load four pallets onto her flat bed and
lean against the passenger door. “ It’s been real nice seeing you again Jack.”
She says, as she reloads her gun. “ It was like a high school reunion.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“ Will I ever see you again?” I hand her a 72
ounce Slurpee. “ I don’t know kid.” She tucks her gun into her side holster. “
I’m an outlaw. I don’t answer to men and their laws. I don’t get pinned down.
Maybe someday, you’ll be working at a donut shop and I’ll take all your jelly
filled and your cash.” “ “Maybe.” I whisper into the wind and she’s gone. I
know she’s no good. I know it. But, I like her that way. I like her no good.
Brenda’s best when she’s bad.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-61695406872532545882013-11-14T22:07:00.004-08:002013-11-14T22:08:12.982-08:00WAR chats with Playwright Kelleen Conway BlanchardWAR chats with Playwright Kelleen Conway Blanchard<br />
By <a href="http://wonderandrisk.com/author/tom-mohrman/">Tom Mohrman</a> on November 13, 2013<br />
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<a href="http://wonderandrisk.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/248010_10150876166489632_761427378_n.jpg"><img height="266" src="http://wonderandrisk.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/248010_10150876166489632_761427378_n.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Wonder and Risk gleefully <a href="http://wonderandrisk.com/war-review-the-underneath-at-annex-theatre/">endorses</a> The Underneath at <a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/">Annex Theatre</a>, running through November 16th. You have until the end of this weekend to experience something really worthwhile.<br />
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Playwright <a href="http://thisisprettycreepy.blogspot.com/">Kelleen Conway Blanchard</a> was kind enough to answer some of our questions, and share some of her insights and experiences.<br />
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WAR: How would you describe your relationship with pulp fiction (not the film)?<br />
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Kelleen Conway Blanchard: I love the passion and humor and lack of pretension in pulp fiction. I also feel like in some ways, monsters and dames and big splashy villains, those are my people. I take the low road.<br />
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WAR: How does what you write reflect the kinds of things you like to see at a show?<br />
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KCB: Well, my favorite shows are funny and naughty and creepy. Which, is I suppose what I aim for. I have enough sad in my head, it’s hard for me to watch other people’s sad if there aren’t any songs or sexy maniacs or whatnot. That said, I’m in awe of serious dramatists and subtle writers. It just isn’t something I do with real heart. I can’t resist silly jokes and gore. <br />
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WAR: Would you say you have a special relationship with Annex?<br />
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KCB: I love Annex. They have been so supportive of me and my work. But, also they really reach out to the Theater community and take risks. I hope they keep letting me play with them.<br />
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WAR: How involved are you with a production you pen typically?<br />
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KCB: Well, I’ve been lucky to pair up with Annex and Macha Monkey on my most recent plays and they have helped me develop the scripts and let me be part of casting. After that, I show up to a few rehearsals, make script changes and let the cast and production crew do their thing. Some writers like to be more in it but I don’t think I’m all that helpful sitting at every rehearsal. I’m twitchy and make faces. It helps no one.<br />
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WAR: What’s your favorite thing that you got to do with The Underneath?<br />
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KCB: Trying my hand at full on horror was super fun. I wanted it to be scary which is hard to pull off in live theater and I think we did make it pretty scary while still staying true to my style. I really think the cast and crew get most of the credit for the scary. <br />
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WAR: Did the play come from a single idea, or a lot of ideas under a common banner?<br />
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KCB: I wanted to write a monster play and I like the sea and I wanted to include some characters (Winnie and Tina and Denise) that I had created at a 14/48 short play festival. From there it was mostly creating a mythology and letting the characters go.<br />
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WAR: Who is the intended audience? <br />
<br />
KCB: I hope that some horror fans saw it. And people that maybe think plays are dull. Creeps of all ages. <br />
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WAR: What kind of space or budget constraints do you keep in mind while writing?<br />
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KCB: I try to keep the cast smallish and create full characters that actors really get to shine playing. I come from an acting background, so I respect actors and don’t ask them to play a maid with three lines for 5 weeks (unless that maid has 3 really great lines and maybe a dance number). Also, I try to keep stage action simple-ish. If I create impossible worlds, I make sure there are people that are into creating those worlds or I change it. I’m really pretty flexible. Theater is a big collaboration and I want the play to be good first and last and for everyone to get to do something great. So, I do think about what would be fun for designers and possible on a small scale. That said, I created some crazy set and prop problems for the designers of The Underneath. But, they were on board with all of it and their solutions were really exceptional. <br />
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WAR: Do you write with actors in mind?<br />
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KCB: Yes. There are actors I love for their talent and generosity. But, often when I see people read I am surprised and everything changes.<br />
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WAR: What do you hope to see more of in Seattle theater?<br />
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KCB: I hope we all continue to be a community and not separate little theater worlds. I think the 14/48 festival- which brings together all sorts of artists for an intense weekend of theater making- has done so much toward making that a reality and theaters like Annex that have their fingers in all sorts of pies. I hope the theaters keep investing in new local work. They should invest more. <br />
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WAR: What’s next for you?<br />
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KCB: I’m lucky enough to be working on a new play with Annex, slated for next October about Countess Elizabeth Bathory ( The female Dracula- if you will) Born in 1560 and dying in 1614, she was the infamous serial killer of Hungary. She killed hundreds of peasant girls and bathed in their blood to stay young. She was never put to trial because of her status and instead died walled up in her castle! I do love a villain!<br />
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<a href="http://wonderandrisk.com/war-chats-with-playwright-kelleen-conway-blanchard/?share=facebook&nb=1"></a>Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-37672398356595565392013-11-14T22:04:00.002-08:002013-11-14T22:05:45.352-08:00<br /><br />The Underneath<br />Seattleactor.com<br />Presented by: <a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/">Annex Theatre</a><br /><br /><br /><br />The Annex Theatre just received the 2013 Gregory Award for “Theater of the Year” and their current production, “The Underneath” by Seattle playwright Kelleen Conway Blanchard is a perfect example of why the recognition was so richly deserved. This tiny theater on Capitol Hill, under Artistic Director Pamala Mijatov (who also directed this show) is committed to presenting new, locally created work that is adventurous, unusual and never safely conventional.<br /> “The Underneath” is a mysterious, grotesquely comic and strangely threatening tale of a seaside community that is about to have a gaudy “Water World” amusement park take up residence to revive its stalled economy. The problem is that the construction is also reviving some frightening monsters of the undersea underworld, spitting up remnants of previous lost souls and taking captive new innocents who dare to intrude on the deep dark. Guiding us to a necessary understanding of the history of those ancient powers is the salty old cook in a cheesy seafood restaurant, a grizzled descendant of the Blackwater family. John McKenna does an excellent job of balancing Blackwater’s ridiculous characterization at the same time that he makes the danger and the history feel real.<br /> Most directly affected by that danger are the sisters, Tina and Winnie, and their hard-working, marginally responsible waitress mother, Denise. Tina, as played by Pilar O’Connell, is a foul-mouthed, aggressively rebellious and socially outcast thirteen year-old. One of Blanchard’s accomplishments is in making her almost constant profanity sound both natural and surprisingly innocuous. She’s a smart girl with a flair for science and a lot of ideas she wants to build in her absent Dad’s basement shop.<br /> Her sweet little sister, Winnie, is played with almost comic book preciousness and vulnerability by Meaghan Mary Halverson, and that’s just right for the monster she will become. Their mother, Denise, has all she can handle dealing with the customers at the diner, including her side-dish fling with Sheriff Rick Fantaub. Tracy Leigh gives Denise just the right amount of shop-worn debilitation and basic motherly concern. James Weidman does an excellent job of creating a Sheriff who is both a step up for Denise from the irresponsible father who deserted his family and a man with just enough decency to return her underwear from under the table where they’ve been “dating”.<br /> The Sheriff is also responsible for safeguarding the community from the huckster Kevin, who wants to build the Water Park, the extravagant Teddy (both played by Daniel Christensen) and his sister Kimmi (a very funny Mandy Price) who has a fondness for dangerous marine life that has left her as scarred as she is enraptured.<br /> Nothing comes to a very happy end in this show, and the horror and monstrosity make it an excellent choice for a Halloween show, but it is not limited to that. In fact, one of the things that makes this show notable and not just a holiday candy is the sense that the playwright wants us to think about deeper relationships between humans and the planet we live on. There are, in fact, probably too many gestures in the direction of greater complexity to the ideas behind this show, and the script would probably benefit from some simplification and focus. Still, what gives this consistently funny and amusing play a sense of significance greater than simply a scary story is the implication that our history, our myths and our connections with the eternal are never to be simply dismissed by the trivial desires of the present.<br /> For all the Saturday matinee monsters unleashed in “The Underneath” there is an even greater argument that we must never forget that we are the most insignificant of transient details on the surface of an infinitely greater and deeper existence. But don’t worry. “The Underneath” never requires you to withhold your laughter or amusement for deeper thought during the course of the fast-paced action. Only later, say as you’re getting into bed, might you give some thought to what might exist far beneath the floorboards of your safe bedroom.<br /> PICTURED ABOVE: Pilar O’Connell and John McKenna<br />PHOTO BY: Ian Johnston<br /><br /><br />Written by: Jerry KraftKelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-63442473986463381992013-10-04T12:09:00.001-07:002013-10-04T12:09:26.082-07:00My New Play- The Underneath<center style="background-color: white; color: #4e4e4e; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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The Underneath</h1>
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<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Written by Kelleen Conway Blanchard<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Directed by Pamala Mijatov<div style="line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; padding: 0px;">
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<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Thurs-Sat at 8pm | Oct. 18 – Nov. 16<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Preview Thurs, Oct. 17 | Industry Night Mon, Nov. 4<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />$20 general, $12 TPS/Seniors/Military, $5 Students.<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />All Thursdays Pay-What-You-Can.</strong></div>
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Something monstrous is bubbling up at the new waterpark. Something icky is making Tina, girl genius and social outcast, very uncomfortable. Her little sister Winnie has a tentacle in a jar that hisses. Her mom Denise is taking too much medication and sleeping with the local Sheriff, who can’t bake enough crumb cakes to make himself feel better about the body parts washing up on the shore. And just what does the fry cook at Salty’s Sea Shack have in his pants? Welcome to the world of The Underneath, the latest play from the writer of Kittens in a Cage and Hearts Are Monsters. Featuring Daniel Christensen, Meaghan Halverson, Tracy Leigh, John McKenna, Pilar O’Connell, Mandy Price, and James Weidman.<br /><br />“Blanchard is touching and wickedly funny. (That’s her specialty.)” —The Stranger</div>
Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-83955302779958613802013-07-19T13:57:00.000-07:002013-07-19T13:57:33.089-07:00Stories for Bad Children<h1 class="headlineLarge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 2.5em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<em>Stories for Bad Children</em>: Kelleen Conway Blanchard Plus Puppets</h1>
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<span style="color: #707070; font-style: italic; text-transform: lowercase;">by</span> <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/brendan-kiley/Author?oid=1124" rel="author" style="color: #094760; cursor: pointer; outline: none;" target="_self" title="About the author/Author archives">BRENDAN KILEY</a></div>
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<div id="story_text" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; position: relative; text-align: center;">
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.19em; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; text-align: left;">
<span class="dropcap" style="border-bottom-style: none; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 60px; height: 60px; line-height: normal; margin-top: -8px; padding: 0px 5px 2px 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: top;">T</span>his weekend, a favorite local playwright (Kelleen Conway Blanchard) teams up with a great local songwriter (Rick Miller), an always-entertaining local actor (Basil Harris), and a puppet company I confess I don't know that much about (Vox Fabuli Puppets).</div>
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The project is <em>Stories for Bad Children</em>, an attempt to raise the ante in Seattle's already crowded cabaret/revue field. Miller will sing gallows-humor songs, the puppets will do something puppety, and Harris will recite a couple of monologues written by the wicked-witted Blanchard. (One of the monologues takes a jog through the porn world: "I don't have an industry-standard penis, but luckily I am very limber and can crush a can of pork 'n' beans with my thighs. Still, after a while, you're lying under four sweaty ladies with bleached assholes and you can't help but wish for old-fashioned romance... I think I want to ride the real bull now. If you know what I mean.")</div>
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Vox Fabuli has put up previous shows in a small Georgetown theater called Tin Can Studio, which has a seating capacity of 30 or so. West of Lenin is a small theater by most measures, but it's three times the size of Tin Can. "This one is a sort of proof of concept," says coproducer Michael Hayes. If it goes well, it could be the first in a series: <em>Stories for Procrastinating Children</em>,<em>Stories for Demented Children</em>, and so on. Hayes is a designer around town—he's helped design sound for Keri Healey's <em>Torso</em>, a Mike Daisey show, Sgt. Rigsby & His Amazing Silhouettes, etc.—and has worked with most of the folks involved with <em>Stories for Bad Children</em>. "We've all road-tested each other," he laughs. And now they'd like to road-test you. <img alt="recommended" border=";0"" height="10" src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/rec_star.gif" width="10" /></div>
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-48701736160683701692013-07-19T13:39:00.000-07:002013-07-19T13:42:11.863-07:00Mating Games at Annex<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />What draws us together romantically and sexually as human beings? Why are some mates preferable to others? What role do senses like smell and vision play in our selection of partners? These are just some of the provocative questions explored by the Seattle Playwrights’ Collective (SPC) in their next short play festival “Mating Games: 9 Short Comedies about Love, Sex, and the Science of Desire”.<br /><br />Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-33255583011565369802012-12-06T14:06:00.003-08:002012-12-06T14:06:58.706-08:00Kittens In A Cage Web Series Kickstarter!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-22834924667081809652012-12-06T14:04:00.001-08:002012-12-06T14:04:33.924-08:00Updates For Kittens Web Series!
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<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage/posts/362285">Constantine Maroulis Is Gonna Rock The Cellblock!</a>
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Update #10
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Dec. 05, 2012
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<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Stoic Entertainment</a> is convulsing with excitement to announce yet another amazing celeb to join <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Kittens In A Cage</a>. From American Idol finalist to a Tony nom to TV star and back again in the newest theatrical blockbuster - <a href="http://www.jekyllandhydemusical.com/" target="_blank">Jekyll & Hyde</a> - we landed <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1864458/" target="_blank">Constantine Maroulis</a>!!!<br />
Born in Brooklyn, New York and later raised in the nearby suburbs of New Jersey, <a href="http://www.constantinemaroulis.com/" target="_blank">Constantine James Maroulis</a>
grew up surrounded by a wide array of polarized music from classic
rock, alternative and spirituals to jazz and jam band antics. It was
not unusual to see Constantine onstage at a Summer Stock theater
production while afterwards heading straight to a nightclub to front a
band. There, he gained the invaluable experience of burning both ends of
the entertainment candle that would help him nail his audition that
garnered his spot to attend the prestigious <a href="http://www.bostonconservatory.edu/search/node/constantine%20maroulis" target="_blank">Boston Conservatory of Music</a>.<br />
During this time Constantine worked consistently to build his impressive resume that included lead roles in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s28iV3j_DFQ" target="_blank">Hedwig and the Angry Inch</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUiSoBLaIMI" target="_blank">Jesus Christ Superstar</a>,
along with his first work in the dramas of William Shakespeare and a
slew of student and indie films. Additionally, Constantine was singled
out for an apprenticeship at the legendary Williamstown Theater
Festival, there he appeared on the main stage in Pulitzer Prize winning
playwright Donald Margulies' <a href="http://www.playbill.com/news/article/102283-STAGE-TO-SCREENS-A-Chat-with-Constantine-Maroulis-From-American-Idol-to-Broadway" target="_blank">God of Vengeance</a>.<br />
After
completing school, Maroulis returned to his native New York City where
he soon landed the role of Roger in the ever-popular musical <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhmAbIL6-EQ" target="_blank">RENT</a>.
For the better part of the next year Constantine electrified audiences
nightly, receiving critical praise touring North America and Asia with
the show. Upon completion of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlfKbjyFQVU" target="_blank">RENT</a> tour, Constantine returned to Manhattan where he busied himself with his rock band by night and auditions by day.<br />
By chance, a friend coaxed him into auditioning for <a href="http://www.americanidol.com/archive/contestants/season4/constantine_maroulis/" target="_blank">American Idol</a>.
He not only made the cut but eventually, Constantine became a finalist.
There he performed everything from Tin Pan Alley standards like "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb2IPzL7Bsw" target="_blank">My Funny Valentine</a>," rhythm and blues classics like Otis Redding's "<a href="http://www.nme.com/nme-video/youtube/id/Wk529gKnOXk" target="_blank">Too Hard To Handle</a>," and the epic stadium rock of Queen's "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDqDIxIUZ7E" target="_blank">Bohemian Rhapsody</a>," which he would later record when he was personally invited by Queen guitarist Brian May.<br />
Soon
after that season ended, Maroulis embarked on the traditional sold out
summer arena tour for American Idol finalists. This, on the heels of the
multi-platinum selling <a href="http://www.amazon.com/American-Idol-Season-The-Showstoppers/dp/B00080EUUS" target="_blank">American Idol Season 4 CD </a>where
Constantine contributed his moody rendering of "My Funny Valentine."
Eventually Maroulis was able to find time to record his own very first
solo album simply titled <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Constantine-Maroulis/dp/B000SQKZ92" target="_blank">Constantine</a>.<br />
Constantine
yearned to get back to his theater roots, subsequently doing just that
in 2006 when he was cast in his first Broadway leading part, this for a
special limited engagement of the Tony nominated musical <a href="http://www.theatermania.com/new-york-city-theater/news/08-2006/constantine-maroulis-will-join-the-wedding-singer-_8884.html" target="_blank">The Wedding Singer</a>. This was followed by another ensemble piece with the eclectic 1960s off-Broadway gem <a href="http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/former-idol-4-finalist-constantine-maroulis-joins-jacques-brel-1011185.php" target="_blank">Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris</a>
where Constantine garnered a string of excellent reviews. Spinning off
of that run Constantine surprised audiences when he was added to the
cast of the classic daytime drama <a href="http://soaps.sheknows.com/boldandbeautiful/actor/555/Constantine_Maroulis/" target="_blank">The Bold and the Beautiful </a>where a part was written especially for him in the role of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX8TbA0WDHI" target="_blank">Constantine Paros</a>.<br />
Maroulis took a meeting with the producers of a particular 1980s hair metal mix tape musical entitled <a href="http://www.broadway.com/buzz/162426/constantine-maroulis-on-his-fun-rock-of-ages-cameo-and-reinventing-jekyll-hyde/" target="_blank">Rock of Ages</a>,
which had tried to ignite interest out of town with limited success.
Yet something happened soon after Rock of Ages opened off- Broadway, the
magical cast led by Constantine himself would soon start people
talking, in no time it debuted on Broadway to critical raves and packed
houses nightly. The show itself was honored with a <a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2009/05/05/constantine/" target="_blank">Tony nomination</a> as well as the aforementioned nod to Constantine himself.<br />
Now the father of a toddler named <a href="http://celebritybabies.people.com/2011/03/25/constantine-maroulis-introduces-daughter-malena-james/" target="_blank">Malena James</a>, Maroulis has taken fatherhood to heart and merged it with his rock star chops which led him to become the face for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvaMhH-kp0" target="_blank">Disney's Rock Star Mickey Mouse</a> toy where he was seen in the national television commercial performing the Kinks classic "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XeHuiCMbKU" target="_blank">You Really Got Me</a>."
Constantine has consistently made himself available for charitable
causes, lending his talents to Broadway Cares, St. Jude's Children's
Fund, The Hellenic Scholarship Foundation and the Sarcoma Foundation
just to name a few.<br />
Maroulis worked diligently with the Neiderlander Organization to create a re-imagined version of Frank Wildhorn's epic musical <a href="http://www.jekyllandhydemusical.com/" target="_blank">Jekyll & Hyde</a>. Constantine is currently co-starring with the talented <a href="http://www.playbill.com/features/article/170309-Constantine-Maroulis-Takes-the-Two-Faces-of-Jekyll-and-Hyde-on-the-Road" target="_blank">Deborah Cox</a> and embark on a massive 25-week tour before arriving on Broadway in 2013.<br />
<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Stoic Entertainment</a> is lucky to have caught <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ConstantineMOfficial" target="_blank">Constantine</a> while he is in town so that he can play with us in <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Kittens In A Cage</a>.</div>
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<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage/posts/361666">Holy Mother Of All Matrons - Gigi Bermingham Rules This Roost!!!</a>
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Update #9
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Dec. 03, 2012
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What ever Matron wants, Matron gets... Don't step out of line because<a href="http://www.gigibermingham.com/" target="_blank"> Gigi Bermingham</a>
as the Matron will make you wish you were never born. This cellblock
gestapo is a force of nature. Run for cover if you're in the path of
her wrath!<br />
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0083654/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1" target="_blank">Gigi</a> recently made her directorial debut with <a href="http://www.backstage.com/review/la-theater/antaeus-company-you-cant-take-it-you-kaufman-and-hart/" target="_blank">YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU</a> at <a href="http://www.antaeus.org/" target="_blank">Antaeus Co</a>.
in North Hollywood (L.A. Weekly and Ovation-recommended!), which was
not a bad way to prepare for the role of the controlling Matron in <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Kittens In A Cage</a>. As an actor, she received the <a href="http://www.backstage.com/news/back-stage-2012-garland-award-winners/" target="_blank">2012 Garland Award</a> and was nominated by the LA Drama Critics Circle for her performance in <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2011/11/theater-review-hermetically-sealed-at-the-skylight-theatre.html" target="_blank">HERMETICALLY SEALED</a> at <a href="http://www.katselastheatre.com/index.php/hermetically-sealed/218-gigi-bermingham" target="_blank">Katselas Theatre Co.</a> Other awards include the LA Stage Alliance OVATION and LA Drama Critics Circle Awards for her solo comedy <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2002/apr/05/entertainment/et-stage5" target="_blank">NON-VITAL ORGANS</a>. In 2012 she has also appeared at <a href="http://pasadenaplayhouse.org/blog/2012/05/04/los-angeles-review-the-heiress-curtainup-com/" target="_blank">Pasadena Playhouse in THE HEIRESS</a> with Richard Chamberlain and Julia Duffy; and at Antaeus in <a href="http://www.lastagetimes.com/2012/02/traister-and-cast-double-down-on-antaeus-seagull/" target="_blank">THE SEAGULL</a>. Her film work includes Rob Reiner's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318283/videogallery/related_name-nm0083654" target="_blank">ALEX AND EMMA</a> and the upcoming SAVE THE DATE. She can currently be seen onstage at Antaeus in <a href="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/index.php/theatre-guide/cabaret-noel-" target="_blank">CABARET NOEL</a> (through December 17) singing in French.<br />
From the moment <a href="http://www.gigibermingham.com/" target="_blank">Gigi</a> read her first line in the script, we all fell in love with her. A HUGE thanks from <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Stoic Entertainment</a> for joining this incredible ensemble.</div>
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<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage/posts/361333">Faith in us.</a>
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Update #8
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Dec. 03, 2012
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Our campaign is half over, or half started, pending
your level of optimism. You have all exhibited that critical show of
support for us and faith in our abilities and for that I will be forever
in your debt.<br />
As of this moment we are %31 percent funded. And this fact is thanks to you and your generosity.<br />
I
wanted to ask you to be generous once again by re-posting our link to
you friends on Twitter and Facebook and by telling your friend's about
us. Perhaps you know someone who would love this project, someone who
might love a weekly laugh or someone who wanted to support us but never
quite took the action to click on us and donate? Now is the time.<br />
Did
you know that if we generate enough "hits" it increases our chance at
becoming a staff pick? If we can make that happen, the donations will
come barreling in.<br />
<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage" target="_blank">http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage</a><br />
Here is the link.<br />
Very grateful,<br />
Jillian Armenante</div>
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<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage/posts/360798">Broadway Babe - Laura Heisler Plays Pill Poppin' Lois For Kittens</a>
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Update #7
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Dec. 02, 2012
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Straight off the stage of The Geffen Playhouse, <a href="http://broadwayworld.com/people/Laura-Heisler/" target="_blank">Laura Heisler</a> joins her feline compatriots in <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Kittens In A Cage</a>
as Lois. From her impressive Broadway credits to her endearing indie
film roles, you'll fall in love with this incredible actress, but don't
be fooled. You don't land in the big house just for takin' some dope.<br />
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0374700/" target="_blank">Laura Heisler</a> currently lives in LA, after working as an actor in New York City for many years. <a href="http://www.lauraheisler.info/" target="_blank">TIME OUT NY</a> named her as one of twenty actors "who keep NYC theater's heart beating," and the following year <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/2008-05-20/theater/some-singular-sensations/" target="_blank">THE VILLAGE VOICE</a> cited her as one of six actors ("Singular Sensations") in a special Obies feature. Laura made her Broadway debut in the play <a href="http://broadwayworld.com/article/Laura-Heisler-Cristin-Milioti-Discuss-Coram-Boy-with-BB-20070515" target="_blank">CORAM BOY</a>, and recently received Lucille Lortel and Drama League Award nominations for her work in <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/showandtell/2011/03/shoutout-for-a-standout-laura-heisler-shines-bright-off-broadway-in-kin" target="_blank">KIN</a>, directed by Sam Gold, at Playwrights Horizons. Laura also appeared in <a href="http://theater.nytimes.com/2007/12/12/theater/reviews/12darl.html?_r=0" target="_blank">DORIS TO DARLENE</a> and <a href="http://www.theatermania.com/new-york-city-theater/reviews/09-2004/people-be-heard_5149.html" target="_blank">PEOPLE BE HEARD</a>, both at Playwrights Horizons; she starred in <a href="http://theater2.nytimes.com/2006/04/25/theater/reviews/25made.html" target="_blank">THE MISTAKES MADELINE MADE</a>, by Liz Meriwether, at Naked Angels; she originated the title role in the world premiere of Sarah Ruhl's acclaimed play <a href="http://www.playbill.com/news/article/81390-Love-Death-and-the-Underworld-Sarah-Rules-Eurydice-Premieres-at-Madison-Rep-Aug-29-" target="_blank">EURYDICE</a>
at Madison Rep, and she has acted in numerous plays Off-Broadway and
regionally, including Williamstown Theatre Festival, South Coast Rep,
McCarter Theatre, Soho Rep, Woolly Mammoth, The Old Globe, and many
others. On television, she has guest-starred on episodes of GREY'S
ANATOMY, BONES, THE MIDDLE, THE DEFENDERS, NUMB3RS, and UGLY BETTY. Her
film work includes the indie horror <a href="http://horror.about.com/od/2011horrorphotos/ig/YellowBrickRoad-Photos/Yellowbrickroad-05.htm" target="_blank">YELLOWBRICKROAD</a>, <a href="http://www.cinemagia.ro/trailer/cold-souls-3422/" target="_blank">COLD SOULS</a>, COACH, and FORGED. Laura just completed a run in the world premiere of <a href="http://www.playbill.com/news/article/171452-Thomas-Sadoski-Laura-Heisler-and-Peter-Katona-Build-Michael-Golamcos-New-Play-Opening-Oct-24" target="_blank">BUILD</a>, by Michael Golamco, at The Geffen Playhouse. <br />
<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Stoic Entertainment</a> is incredibly excited to welcome <a href="http://www.lauraheisler.info/theatre.htm" target="_blank">Miss Heisler</a> to the fold. If you have already donated to help get<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank"> Kittens In A Cage</a>
on the little screen - Thank You! If you haven't pledged yet, please
do it today - we only have a little more than two weeks to go. Meow!</div>
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<h2 class="title">
<a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage/posts/359670">Rebecca Mozo Is Just A Good Girl Who Done A Bad Thing...</a>
</h2>
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<span class="update-number">
Update #6
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<span class="divider">·</span>
Nov. 30, 2012
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<div class="body">
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1720113/" target="_blank">Rebecca Mozo</a>
wandered her way in to Marquetta State Prison with just a ukuele and a
smile. Oh, yeah... and a homicide rap. But was it really her fault? Her
character Junie doesn't think so. See if this fresh meat can make it
through Episode 1 by watching <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Kittens In A Cage</a> in 2013!<br />
<a href="https://twitter.com/rebecca_mozo" target="_blank">Miss Mozo</a>
attended Rutgers University and studied at The Globe in London. Shortly
thereafter she moved to Los Angeles and the first job she landed was
playing <a href="http://www.lasplash.com/publish/Los_Angeles_Performances_116/THE_CHERRY_ORCHARD_-_Blossoms_at_the_Mark_Taper_Forum.php" target="_blank">Anya in The Cherry Orchard </a>opposite Annette Bening, Alfred Molina and Sarah Paulson at The Mark Taper Forum. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rebecca-Mozo/19546407882" target="_blank">Rebecca </a>has been nominated for several Ovation awards and has appeared in regional theaters across the country including <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-oU49FC0DM" target="_blank">In The Next Room or The Vibrator Play</a></i> at <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-oU49FC0DM" target="_blank">South Coast Repertory</a>, A Noise Within, <a href="http://colonytheatre.org/bios/mozoRebecca.html" target="_blank">The Colony</a> and Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey where she appeared in <a href="http://madison.patch.com/articles/old-play-new-to-shakespeare-theatre-audiences" target="_blank">"I Capture the Castle"</a> and is the only actress to play the part of Cassandra Mortmain in the U.S.. Rebecca has appeared in television shows such as <a href="http://www.solarmovie.eu/tv/medium-2005/season-4/episode-1/" target="_blank">Medium</a>, <a href="http://www.solarmovie.eu/tv/cold-case-2003/season-6/episode-5/" target="_blank">Cold Case</a>, Pizza Time and <a href="http://www.solarmovie.eu/tv/the-young-and-the-restless-1973/season-1/episode-8672/" target="_blank">Young and the Restless</a>. Film credits include award winning indie film <a href="http://www.solarmovie.eu/watch-zerophilia-2005.html" target="_blank">Zerophilia</a>, <a href="http://www.solarmovie.eu/watch-headless-horseman-2007.html" target="_blank">Headless Horseman</a>, <a href="http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/the-waterhole/trailer" target="_blank">The Waterhole</a>
and They Bury Their Own opposite John Glover. She also narrates audio
books including the entire Vampire Diaries series. She is a member of <a href="http://www.antaeus.org/" target="_blank">Antaeus Company</a> in Los Angeles and is a very proud Jersey Girl.<br />
And <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Stoic Entertainment</a> is beyond proud of having this Jersey Girl (who is born run with tramps like us) in <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage?ref=live" target="_blank">Kittens In A Cage</a>
If you haven't had a chance to support our project, please do so today.
We have a big cash mountain to climb and only have a few days left to
get to the top!</div>
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-52268404955478790662012-12-06T14:03:00.001-08:002012-12-06T14:03:20.567-08:00Kittens in a Cage Web Series!
<br />
<div class="quick">
<div class="short-blurb">
The original web series Kittens In A Cage flips the 1950's "Women in Prison" film genre on its hysterical, homicidal, hot ass!
</div>
<ul class="meta">
<li class="posted">
<b>Launched:</b>
Nov 19, 2012
</li>
<li class="ends">
<b>Funding ends:</b>
Dec 19, 2012
</li>
<li class="widgets">
<div class="ajax-container" id="watching-widget">
<div class="is_starred-not-true" style="display: block;">
<div id="watch">
<a class="button-remind-me" href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cage/watch">Remind Me</a>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="full-description">
<b>Jillian Armenante</b>,
award winning actress, playwright and director and <b>Jim Anzide</b>,
award winning artistic director and producer have teamed up once again
to dream up the perfect idea... this time, for a web series.
Already in a love affair with the genre of 1950's women in prison
flicks,
Jillian wrote the script based on the play <i><b>Kittens In A Cage</b></i> by Kelleen
Conway Blanchard.<br />
We felt it was time for a web series to capture the tone of archetypical women’s prison movies with a
twisted, wicked and hilarious sense of humor. We assembled an incredible cast
for the first read through and knew in an instant that we chose the perfect piece.
The reading was so well executed by our actors, and so well received...we could barely be contained from fits of uncontrollable
laughter. Twenty plus years in the business, this doesn't happen very often, trust me.<br />
Our cast and cameos are
from some of your favorite television shows, movies, popular webisodes and
bands. Some of our celebrity guest cameos that we can tell you about at this moment are <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0570364/" target="_blank">Joel McHale</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000312/" target="_blank">Amy Brenneman</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1864458/" target="_blank">Constantine Maroulis</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1143861/" target="_blank">Michaela Watkins</a>.
And we've only just begun the process!<br />
We know that you'll be
coming back every week to see this very funny and talented cast of incredible characters and be
surprised by who might be showing up in one of the supporting roles.
We've called in a lot of favors but there is still so much we have
to pay for, rent, buy, lease... steal?<br />
The biggest challenge
facing us is that we are filming it as if it is a feature. We want to
guarantee that we will have our actors, crew and locations for an
extended period of time. We will be shooting over 90 pages in just 21
days. It's a HUGE undertaking, but it will guarantee that we will have
the first two seasons in the can. Jillian has spent 25 years in front of
and behind the camera. Jim and Jillian are multi-award winning
producers who are used to rivaling the odds and meeting with great
success. They are also doppelgangers.<br />
We need your help!
And we will reward you in many different ways for doing so, including
your favorite new web series - <i>Kittens In A Cage</i>!<br />
We are so thrilled to
announce the amazing cast and crew that you just witnessed in the video clip.
Just click on their name below to see their IMDB page. <br />
<b>Cast</b><br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0035395/" target="_blank">Jillian
Armenante</a> as Barbara
Winchester - Cannibal<br />
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▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0113972/" target="_blank">Kathryne
Dora Brown</a> as Peggy Djokovic
- Thief and Murderer<br />
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▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2093400/" target="_blank">Rebecca
Field</a> as Jeanine
Sucklow - Axe Murderer<br />
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</div>
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0374700/" target="_blank">Laura
Heisler</a> as Lois Milkwood
- Murderer<br />
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▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1720113/" target="_blank">Rebecca
Mozo</a> as Junie Butler -
Ukulele Player<br />
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</div>
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1017348/" target="_blank">Lauren
Weedman</a> as Victoria Woodburn –
Pyromaniac<br />
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▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0083654/" target="_blank">Gigi Bermingham</a> as The Matron<br />
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▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1597201/" target="_blank">La Toya London</a> as Nancy<br />
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</div>
<b>Production
Team</b><br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0035395/" target="_blank">Jillian
Armenante</a> - Executive
Producer/Director/Writer/Composer<br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0023010/" target="_blank">Peter
Alton</a> - Cinematographer<br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1812215/" target="_blank">Jim
Anzide</a> - Producer<br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0230059/" target="_blank">Alice
Dodd </a>- Associate Producer<br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0242698/" target="_blank">Michele
Dunn</a> - Costume Designer<br />
▪ <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4850621/" target="_blank">Kathleen
Pardo</a> - Hair/Make Up<br />
▪ Mark Nichols - Composer<br />
▪ Dan Gellert - Music Mixer<br />
▪ Gary Smoot - Logo Design<br />
▪ Kelleen Conway Blanchard - Based on the play by<br />
<br />
</div>
<h3 class="dotty">
<span><br /></span></h3>
<br />
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1431763706/original-web-series-kittens-in-a-cageKelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-72458921126950322472012-12-06T14:00:00.001-08:002012-12-06T14:00:51.137-08:00Kittens<br />
<header class="post-title">
<h1>
Kittens in a Cage – I Can’t Quit You</h1>
<div class="post-date">
<b>15</b>
<i>Wednesday</i>
Aug 2012
</div>
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Posted <span class="by-author"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://courtneymeaker.com/author/cmeak/" rel="author" title="View all posts by cmeak">cmeak</a></span></span> in <a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/category/response/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in response">response</a>, <a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/category/shows/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in shows">shows</a> <br />
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<div class="post-extras">
<b>Tags</b><br />
<a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/tag/annex-theatre/" rel="tag">annex theatre</a>, <a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/tag/kelleen-conway-blanchard/" rel="tag">kelleen conway blanchard</a>, <a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/tag/kittens-in-a-cage/" rel="tag">kittens in a cage</a>, <a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/tag/seattle-theatre/" rel="tag">seattle theatre</a></div>
<div class="post-entry">
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_1065" style="width: 650px;">
<a href="http://courtneymeaker.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/kittens.jpeg"><img alt="" class="size-full wp-image-1065" height="480" src="http://courtneymeaker.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/kittens.jpeg" title="kittens" width="640" /></a><br />
<div class="wp-caption-text">
Photo: Ian Johnston; Francesca Mondelli in Annex Theater’s “Kittens In A Cage”</div>
</div>
<i>Published at <a href="http://thesunbreak.com/2012/08/14/kittens-in-a-cage-i-cant-quit-you/">TheSunbreak.com</a> August 14, 2012.</i><br />
Okay. I shouldn’t like <i>Kittens in a Cage</i> at Annex Theatre (through August 25th; <a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/2012-season/main-stage/kittens-in-a-cage/">tickets</a>).
I really shouldn’t. It’s a riff on lezploitation and reminded me of a
really bad ’70s softcore porn about lesbians in prison that someone (who
was totally not me) might have watched on Skinemax when they were
fifteen. But I can’t help it. I love <i>Kittens in a Cage</i>.<br />
Yes, it’s campy. There’s not a message, or a greater purpose. There’s
a one-armed matron who has all the vigor (and lines) from a B-movie
villain. There’s no redemption and the most traumatizing thing that
happens actually doesn’t matter because this is a land without lasting
consequences for our leading ladies.<br />
But it has a ukelele! A pretty lady sings with a southern twang (I’m
from Tennessee so this made my stomach backflip)! And gorgeous women
kissing one another and having feelings! And I learned so many new ways
to refer to my genitalia (most of them were fish related, but still they
were clever)! And it’s the first show I’ve seen in a long time that has
an all-female cast with a female playwright (ladies writing about
lady-loving–unheard of)!<br />
Under impeccable direction by Bret Fetzer, <i>Kittens in a Cage</i>
by Kelleen Conway Blanchard is a joyous bad-girl romp through a
lesbian-loving field of daisies where bitches get shanked in the shower.
So, the plot–and there is one–focuses on Junie (played by the
dark-haired vixen Francesca Mondelli), who was unfortunately backstabbed
by her friends after innocently shooting a bankteller in the neck. It
could happen to anyone.<br />
Junie’s no-good friends sold her out and she’s sent off to a woman’s
correctional facility run by the one-armed matron (Lisa Viertel) and the
rough around the edges prison guard, Nancy (Katie Driscoll). Viertel
and Driscoll play beautifully off each other with clear affection and
unrequited love though they both despise the uncleanliness of
homosexuality. (Their exchanges reminded me wonderfully of Captain
Monica Stark and Cookie in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206226/"><i>Psycho Beach Party</i></a>.)<br />
Junie then becomes the object of affection as the “new fish” (sorry,
brief pause while I chuckle) in a pool of despicable inmates who are all
several steps away from the line of sanity. Quickly, Junie falls for
her cellmate, Vickie (played by the omg-I-want-to-cuddle-with-you Laurel
Ryan) which don’t sit right with the other fishes, specifically the big
kahuna, Jeanine.<br />
Jeanine (Tracy Leigh), played with an accent that sounded unbelievably like <a href="http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5A8IG0FpmE">AppleJack from <i>MLP: Friendship is Magic</i></a>,
lusts after the seemingly simple Junie and has some of the best
references to vaginas and cunnilingus I have ever heard. Jeanine’s
over-the-top “I’m gonna get you” panache is paired with the subtle and
remarkable Erin Pike who plays the silent Barbara, incarcerated for
eating a girl scout troupe.<br />
But of course, not all can be happy in a lesbian prison. Sigh. No.
You can’t just have hot people in skimpy outfits, lusting after one
another. We can’t just live in that world…of imprisonment. Oh no. Dark
and nefarious things are happening. Our resident crazy (played by the
seamlessly shifting Erin Stewart) comes to deliver the harrowing news in
true “I took a few too many blue pills,” fashion: The matron likes to
“fix” the inmates with science! Cue the sound of things buzzing and a
green light cue.<br />
Speaking of lighting and sound, we have the talents of Tess Malone
and Kyle Thompson, respectively. Malone’s lights get creepy at all the
good parts. And Thompson’s SCIENCE! noises seemed to be taken direct
from <i>Bride of Frankenstein</i> (in a good way). Not to mention the songs which I absolutely wanted more of, written by a very talented man named Rick Miller.<br />
At this point I’d normally advocate for some deeper meaning.
Something that would elevate this play to the next level, make it more
than just a lesbian comedy with a lot of cleavage. But, I can’t do it.
In its B-movie, lezsploitation simplicity, <i>Kittens in a Cage </i>
resonates. It’s not the same crap (see: wedding/dinner party gone awry).
It’s mocking exploitation as opposed to actively exploiting (seriously,
I stopped looking at cleavage when Junie started singing). And hey,
it’s actually funny in a clever way.<br />
Especially in a season of Annex’s that has been unbelievably male (I’m looking at you, <i>Lewis and Clark</i>), <i>Kittens</i> overflows
with female talent with the additional bonus of incredible singing,
acting, grisly biting of license plates, and a truly funny script. <i>Kittens in a Cage</i>
may not be a change-your-life night of theatre, but it’s certainly a
welcome relief to the heat. Especially in a time when women are still
having the “Women: Do they have a sense of humor?” debate, I’ll take <i>Kittens in a Cage</i> over A. R. Gurney any day.<br />
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-40317300087706028692012-12-06T13:59:00.004-08:002012-12-06T13:59:56.497-08:00Kittens<h2 class="widgettitle header">
KITTENS IN A CAGE</h2>
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Posted by <a href="http://www.dramainthehood.net/author/ian/" rel="author" title="Posts by Scott Taylor">Scott Taylor</a> on 29 Jul 2012 /
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So what’s not to love about a play starring 7 local powerhouse
actresses and written by an equally strong local, female playwright?!
Given the dearth of substantive roles for women in theatre and film, it
is great to see a show like “Kittens in a Cage” infused with so much
estrogen and feminine prowess. (I’m just not sure why they didn’t
choose a female director for the show as well!).<br />
Written by Kelleen Conway Blanchard and directed by Bret Fetzer,
“Kittens in a Cage” is “a tough love story about bad broads that can’t
get no breaks!” It tells the story of a young girl named “Junie” (played
by Francesca Mondelli) who finds herself in the middle of a bank
robbery that went wrong. Basically, she was set up by her thug friends
and framed for the crime, an act that ultimately lands her in prison
where she meets the other characters of this jailhouse comedy.<br />
The prison is headed by the always fabulous Lisa Viertel who plays
the “Prison Matron,” – a Doctor Evil type of character who has a
prosthetic hook arm, a tortured fondness for monkeys, and an undying
belief in the power of science to reform the inmates.<br />
“Junie” is schooled in the world of prison life by her cellmate,
“Vickie,” (played by Laurel Ryan), who is a bit of a pyromaniac herself.
In time, the two develop a romantic connection with each other as they
defend themselves against the other inmates and against the Prison
Matron’s scientific experiments as well.<br />
Rounding out the cast includes: “Nancy,” the closet lesbian, Barney
Fife-ish prison guard (played by Katie Driscoll) who is in love with the
prison matron; “Jeanine” (played by Tracy Leigh), the redneck, lesbian
murderess whose got eyes for “Junie”; “Barbara” (played by Erin Pike),
the Hannibal Lecter-like cannibal with a sweet tooth for Girl Scouts;
and finally the actress, Erin Stewart, who plays a variety of roles, one
of which is “Lois,” a baby killing pill head.<br />
The entire cast does a great job, and it is obvious that they are
having a lot of fun in their respective roles; and when I saw the show
on opening night, it was obvious that the audience had just as much fun
watching them.<br />
Indeed, the play is packed with the kind of bawdy, lowbrow humor that
you would expect from a comedy set in a women’s prison : a lot of
lesbian jokes, a lot of girl on girl action (in all senses of the word),
and a lot of pulling things out of vaginas. In short, it is just a good
time, not to be taken too seriously.<br />
Finally, the technical design is NOT the focus of this production.
Suffice it to say that the set and lighting designs are simple and
functional. Here, it’s all about the actresses, as it should be!<br />
“Kittens in a Cage” plays through August 25<sup>th</sup> at the Annex Theatre on Capitol Hill. 1100 E. Pike St. For tickets call 206-728-0933 or on the web at www.annextheatre.org<br />
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-52304480894706373582012-12-06T13:59:00.002-08:002012-12-06T13:59:23.210-08:00The Ladies of Kittens!<br />
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<span class="month" style="text-indent: 0px;">Aug<span class="date" style="text-indent: 0px;">24</span></span>
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37 Minutes with Kittens in a Cage</h1>
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Posted by <a href="http://photosister.com/author/larae/" rel="author" title="Posts by LaRae Lobdell">LaRae Lobdell</a> on Aug 24, 2012 </div>
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<i><span style="font-size: medium;">Photographing the artists of “<a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/2012-season/main-stage/kittens-in-a-cage/" target="_blank" title="Kittens in a Cage">Kittens in a Cage</a>” for <a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/" target="_blank" title="Annex Theatre">Annex Theatre</a></span></i><br />
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After photographing <a href="http://photosister.com/1-hour-and-6-minutes-with-k-brian-neel/" target="_blank" title="K. Brian Neel">K. Brian Neel</a> with his two darling kittens I dared to photograph the “other” kittens hot in Seattle right now: the ladies starring in “<a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/2012-season/main-stage/kittens-in-a-cage/" target="_blank" title="Kittens in a Cage">Kittens in a Cage</a>.”<br />
I was able to get 5 of the 7 actresses at my studio the last week of
their performance here in Seattle and I believe they have only 2
performances left: Friday and Saturday at 8pm. Home stretch ladies!<br />
Special thanks to my dear friend Wynne Earle for her help with stylizing and lighting on this set.<br />
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<a href="http://photosister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Kittens-in-a-Cage-c-photo-credit-LaRae-Lobdell-1.jpg"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2137" height="800" src="http://photosister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Kittens-in-a-Cage-c-photo-credit-LaRae-Lobdell-1.jpg" title="for Intiman by LaRae Lobdell | PhotoSister.com" width="531" /></a><br />
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Cast in this feature: FrancescaKelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-2904500177116076702012-12-06T13:58:00.000-08:002012-12-06T13:58:06.071-08:00Kittens!<h2 class="post_title">
Best New Play Of The Summer? Annex’s Fantastic “Kittens In A Cage”</h2>
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Published by <a href="http://www.seattlegayscene.com/author/strangeways" rel="author" title="Posts by Michael Strangeways">Michael Strangeways</a> on August 9th, 2012 </div>
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<a href="http://www.seattlegayscene.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/KittensTracyLeigh.jpg"><img alt="" class="size-full wp-image-28358" height="228" src="http://www.seattlegayscene.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/KittensTracyLeigh.jpg" title="KittensTracyLeigh" width="498" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
Tracy Leigh is Janine in Annex’s “Kittens in a Cage” by Kelleen Conway Blanchard.<br />Photo: Ian Johnston/Annex</div>
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<h6>
Review: <a href="http://www.annextheatre.org/" target="_blank">“Kittens in a Cage”</a> by Kelleen Conway Blanchard. Music by Rick Miller. Directed by Bret Fetzer. With Francesca Mondelli, Katie Driscoll, Laurel Ryan, Erin Stewart, Tracy Leigh, Erin Pike and Lisa Viertel as The Matron. Now through August 25, 2012 at the Annex Theatre.</h6>
<strong>Not gonna fool around with this review…let’s cut to the
chase. Annex Theatre’s current production of local playwright Kelleen
Conway Blanchard’s “Kittens in a Cage” is the funniest, hippest, most
entertaining play I’ve seen all summer…</strong>which is saying a lot
for a better than usual summer that’s included strong work from
Strawshop (Accidental Death of an Anarchist), the 5th Avenue (Rent) and
big fancy festivals from ACT and Intiman. On paper it sounds slight:
“Kittens in a Cage” is a parody of women in prison films so beloved for
their camp value and opportunities to feature bosomy women having cat
fights and lesbian encounters. It sounds very much like the type of
silly show you’d see in a gay bar and performed by drag queens (and,
there’s nothing wrong with that type of show!) but while it’s your usual
story of the new girl arriving in a badass prison for women and having
to deal with tough broads, knife attacks, lesbian lust and nasty prison
guards, Ms Blanchard has the audacity to turn a run of the mill parody
on its ear by sneaking in horror film elements not to mention several
musical numbers with songs specifically composed for this show by Rick
Miller. It’s a parody of three different genres at the same time!<br />
<strong>But, Kelleen Conway Blanchard’s script rises up above the
mundane and while it features plenty of silly jokes about “eating clams”
and enough exposed cleavage to fuel the fantasies of a million horny
old men in raincoats, it’s also a cleverly constructed piece of theater
with camp but fully realized characters and dialogue far wittier than
what you would expect from a genre spoof.</strong> And, by not solely
focusing on spoofing ONE type of genre, but bringing in elements from
the worlds of horror films and Broadway musicals, the playwright
cleverly creates a new and original work and not just a tired cliche of
women in prison films. Not every joke works, and the ending of the play
feels a bit rushed, but Ms Blanchard’s gift for creating oddball
characters and situations and placing them within the context of a
properly structured and paced piece of dramatic writing enables
“Kittens” to be both FUN while retaining a sense of literary worth. It’s
like eating a really delicious dessert only to discover that the chef
has cut the fat and added nutritional value without you even being aware
of it. Win/Win!<br />
<strong>But, a clever script is only as good as the production that
brings it to life and the team behind “Kittens in a Cage” do top notch
work with the lead example being Bret Fetzer’s terrifically clever
staging of a show that includes cat fights, eye gougings, shower scenes,
tap dancing and genetic mutation experiments.</strong> Mr. Fetzer also
co-designed the equally terrific set, with Ian Johnston, that allows
this play to visit a lot of different locales within the prison…and a
visit to Mexico as well. And, ALL the design work in “Kittens” is
equally spectacular, (made even more amazing by the Annex’s tiny budget)
with clever and cunning work from Kyle Thompson (Sound), Tess Malone
(Lighting), Meaghan Darling (Costumes) and Jana Hutchison’s superb work
on the hair and make-up designs. “Kittens in a Cage” is a smart, good
looking production that rivals and frankly exceeds the work done on
Intiman’s far larger budgeted and similarly campy “Miracle!” It’s A
level work on a D level budget.<br />
<strong>“Kittens” also delights because it offers female actors the
opportunity to perform in a comedic ensemble…and, the expert work of the
seven actresses in “Kittens” will have you begging for more chances to
see funny women working together on stage.</strong> The play focuses on
Junie, the newcomer to the prison, who’s deliciously played by Francesca
Mondelli as one part Betty Boop and one part Snooki from “Jersey
Shore”. Ms Mondelli is not a familiar face to me but her great comedic
AND musical talents have me wanting to see much more of her; it’s
excellent work from a fresh, new face.<br />
<strong>She’s backed up by an excellent ensemble comprised of veteran Annex performers.</strong>
Laurel Ryan as Vickie, the tough as nails object of Junie’s affections;
Katie Driscoll as the brutal but repressed lesbian guard Nancy; Erin
Pike as the mute but delightfully deranged cannibal killer/tap dancing
whiz Barbara, and Tracy Leigh as the bosomy Southern Diva/Head Bitch on
the Cell Block are all delightfully committed to their larger than life
roles and perform them with great hilarity and attention to comedic
detail.<br />
But, I have to signal out some special attention to Erin Stewart who
expertly plays three very different characters, (a dingbat pregnant
inmate named Peggy; Junie’s bitchy opportunistic mom, and the weaselly
and eternally victimized inmate Lois) and you frequently forget it’s the
same actress playing all three roles. It’s hard enough to give one
great comedic performance; Ms Stewart manages to bring three to the
table.<br />
And, some might say it’s typecasting; beloved Annex actress Lisa
Viertel has played more than one Lady Monster character in an Annex
play, but her delightfully macabre Prison Matron is equal parts menace
and empathy. Ms Blanchard wrote the material, but a long, delightfully
crazy monologue about a deranged pet monkey given by Ms Viertel is just
one of many highlights in this production. The writing is terrific and
it was perfectly staged by Mr. Fetzer, but the performance is so
precisely nuanced and pitched that it becomes a great work of art in the
hands of Ms<br />
Viertel. It’s a brilliant performance in a show that’s packed to the gills with them.<br />
<strong>In a nutshell: “Kittens in a Cage” is a funny, witty, naughty
romp through chicks in prison films, with a spicy dash of horror and
all overlaid with a delicious lesbionic sauce of camp and heaving
bosoms.</strong> It’s the most fun on a Seattle stage happening on a Seattle stage right now, and maybe all year. Do not miss it.</div>
Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-45388572425699097442012-12-06T13:57:00.001-08:002012-12-06T13:57:21.809-08:00Kittens!<div class="more_in">
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Heaving Bosoms in Cellblock Three!</h1>
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The Femme-sploitation Prison Satire of <em>Kittens in a Cage</em></h2>
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<span>by</span> <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/anna-minard/Author?oid=4940669" rel="author" target="_self" title="About the author/Author archives">Anna Minard</a></div>
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<span id="dropcap">L</span>et's start with full disclosure: This show is rich with <i>Stranger</i>
conflicts of interest. Playwright Kelleen Conway Blanchard wrote a
piece for this year's Queer Issue, the (gorgeous, frameable) poster was
drawn by 2012 Genius shortlister Ellen Forney, director Bret Fetzer used
to write for <i>The Stranger</i>, and our current theater intern, Erin Pike, is one of the actors. And oh, yeah—Annex Theater is right across the street.<br />
Sorry, two-block-radius haters, but <em>Kittens in a Cage</em> is a fucking riot.<br />
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<em>Kittens</em> takes on women's-prison B movies
and pulp novels with biting wit—no worries about offending anyone—and a
gorgeous splatter of comically short prison uniforms (top buttons
undone), smeared red lipstick, bright blue eye shadow, bouffant hairdos,
and crazy accents. Junie (Francesca Mondelli), a young,
innocent-seeming inmate, quickly befriends tough-girl Vicki (Laurel
Ryan) and tries to stay clear of queen bitch Jeanine (Tracy Leigh)—she
of the tallest hair and most prominent tits. Jeanine's sidekick, Barbara
(Pike), wears a deranged, vacant expression and never speaks. "After
she ate all them Girl Scouts, she ate her own tongue, too," Jeanine
drawls in explanation. The script is punctuated with matter-of-fact
references to the women's crimes, always delivered straight-faced for
full effect: "I <em>knew</em> the baby killer wouldn't've done her in! The baby killer loves everybody. Except babies."<br />
This wicked, uproarious show features an all-female cast—not
impossibly rare, but not common enough. Bosoms heave, brains leak out of
heads, and women make out. Blanchard seems fully aware and in control
while she wades into the muck of exploitation entertainment, with a wink
and a nod (and a shiv) to its complicated history of empowerment. The
actors make the most of their archetypes, exaggerating facial
expressions, smashing their boobs around, and fighting fiercely across
tables and shower stalls. Blanchard has also woven in a helplessly funny
repeating gag where the female prisoners go spelunking, sometimes
elbow-deep, up their own vaginas to pull out contraband. Pike is the
best offender here, her long limbs contorting and straining—at one
point, she sits on the toilet, extracts two tap shoes from between her
legs, and begins practicing a tap-dance routine for the prison talent
show.<br />
<em>Kittens</em> also maintains an undercurrent of sharp satire, as
the evil matron and dopey-but-abusive prison guard embody the absurdity
and oppressiveness of prison systems. (For example, the pair runs
sadistic science experiments on poorly behaved inmates.) <em>Kittens in a Cage</em>
is mostly fun, but it delivers a few smart, subversive jabs at real
issues. And don't forget to try the cocktail special, a Shanked in the
Shower. It's red. <img alt="recommended" border=";0"" height="10" src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/rec_star.gif" width="10" /><br />
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-69369850082099948042012-12-06T13:55:00.002-08:002012-12-06T13:55:58.138-08:00Kitten's Review
<br />
<br /><div class="block">
<h1 class="hed6">
'Kittens in a Cage' unleashes caustic prison parody</h1>
<div class="summary">
Annex Theatre's premier production of "Kittens
in a Cage" offers an unmoored and funny parody of a particular brand of
cheap B movies.</div>
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By <a href="http://search.nwsource.com/search?searchtype=cq&sort=date&from=ST&byline=Tom%20Keogh">Tom Keogh</a></div>
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Special to The Seattle Times</div>
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IAN JOHNSTON</div>
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Lisa Viertel is the monstrous prison matron in "Kittens in a Cage," which premieres at Annex Theatre. </div>
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<strong>Theater review</strong>
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<strong>"Kittens in a Cage"</strong></div>
By Kelleen Conway Blanchard, through Aug. 25 at Annex Theatre, 110 E. Pike St., Seattle; $5-$15 (206-728-0933 or <i><a href="http://www.acttheatre.org/">www.acttheatre.org</a></i>).
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I used to juggle kittens down by the docks. <span class="gc_teasers_metadata">(August 10, 2012, by Sal_Ripple)</span>
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By the time Annex Theatre's premiere production of "Kittens in a
Cage" ends with a demented song-and-dance number set to a Spanish
translation of one of Elvis Presley's biggest hits, one might wonder how
the show arrived from its opening premise — a parody of women's prison
movies — to a state of unmoored, if funny, madness.<br />
But what could be nuttier in the first place than that familiar exploitation cinema genre?<br />
From the 1930s through at least the 1980s (some of us have stopped
noticing since then), cheap B-movies about bad girls locked up in a
hoosegow hothouse of sadism, female violence, lesbian sex and sexual
extortion have titillated fans and provided pop culture fodder for
critics.<br />
"Kittens in a Cage," written by Kelleen Conway Blanchard and directed
by Bret Fetzer, embraces the form as ripe for satire and, in doing so,
undercuts its lurid power as a fantasy of abuse and victimization.<br />
A strong, talented all-female cast takes on, with admirable gusto,
such brand staples as a shower scene ending in bloodshed, a running
battle between alpha-convicts, a monstrous prison matron (Lisa Viertel)
and her sycophant, a pathological guard (Katie Driscoll).<br />
Much of the show's caustic humor comes from juxtaposing relative
innocence with relative guilt (a typical element from the films,
lampooned here).<br />
Francesca Mondelli gets the balance right as a garrulous, wide-eyed new inmate who might be cute but hints at unspeakable deeds.<br />
Laurel Ryan and Tracy Leigh are dynamos of pure appeal and homicidal
impulse, and Erin Pike is a huge plus as a nonspeaking cannibal with
tiny traces of humanity.<br />
Thankfully, "Kittens" never veers into camp, ultimately shedding
genre conventions and getting some mixed results with outright lunacy.<br />
Perhaps Blanchard could have offered a little more, in her ironic but
meaningful fashion, about the appeal of cult entertainment with a high
degradation factor.<br />
But there's something to be said for just seeing this cast take the material and run with it.<br />
<em>Tom Keogh: <a href="mailto:tomwkeogh@gmail.com">tomwkeogh@gmail.com</a></em><br />
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Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-43773287203507377532012-05-07T19:28:00.001-07:002012-05-07T19:28:46.599-07:00Big Story Small! Come see my play based on St. Joan.<br />
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<span style="font-family: rockwell;"><span class="style5" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Performing at <a href="http://www.theatreoffjackson.org/" style="color: #99aa66; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="">Theatre Off Jackson</a> May 10, 11, & 12. </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: rockwell;"><span class="style5" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: rockwell;"><span class="style5" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Pony World Theatre is bringing back our 2010 creation, <em>Big Story Small</em>, with an all new collection of theatre classics distilled into potent little packages. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: rockwell;"><span class="style5" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Tickets are $15 general admission and $12 for students, seniors, and TPS members. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: rockwell;"><span class="style5" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Advance tickets can be purchased at <a href="http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/242258" style="color: #99aa66; text-decoration: none;" title="">Brown Paper Tickets</a></span></span></span></span></div>Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-40081665159075021752012-05-07T19:22:00.001-07:002012-05-07T19:22:03.929-07:00<br />
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A Review of <i>Death, Sex: Election Season</i></h1>
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<span style="color: #707070; font-style: italic; text-transform: lowercase;">by</span> <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/paul-constant/Author?oid=17693" rel="author" style="color: #094760; cursor: pointer; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" target="_self" title="About the author/Author archives">PAUL CONSTANT</a></div>
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TOOLS</h3>
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Last Saturday, I was the only person in the stands for the late show. Someone holding a clipboard came out and told me that, due to some sort of "disaster," the show had been canceled, so I can only report on the quality of the first half. The real shame is that the first two plays, <em>Blood in the Water</em> and <em>ReCount</em>, should have been cut, leaving us with a much more manageable seven-play slate. The program makes much of the fact that <em>Death, Sex</em> is an attempt to "put the focus on the writing," so much so that actors aren't credited for specific roles. <em>Water</em> doesn't stand up to that kind of focus. It's built on a paper-thin premise—a zombie and a vampire take part in a presidential debate—and builds to a corny statement about bipartisanship. <em>ReCount</em> is just a total mess.</div>
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<a href="http://thestranger.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A2583065&cs" style="color: #094760; cursor: pointer; display: block; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 5px; text-decoration: none;" target="_parent"><img alt="Lovelab image" src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/0146/whalebeard.jpg" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; width: 100px;" /><br /><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffe6c1; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; display: block; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-top: 3px; width: 94px;">whalebeard: Men seeking Women</span></a></div>
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But the other three plays are energetic, acerbic works of satire. Kelleen Conway Blanchard's <em>Amphrite</em> is about three panicked fast-food employees who sit, bunkered, inside their restaurant as Lovecraftian creatures destroy the world outside. It builds to a goofy apocalyptic climax (reminiscent of the glory days of Open Circle Theatre's B-movie-inspired Halloween anthologies), and it's only after it's all done that you realize you just watched a bitter criticism of the uselessness of the media's coverage of presidential campaigns.</div>
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Even better is Wayne Rawley's <em>Sex Life</em>, in which a man and a woman prepare to have a one-night stand. The man admits that he's married, which kicks off a series of extortions, more and more unbelievable lies, and filthy sex talk. By the end, everybody—the audience included—feels nauseated at how things have escalated. It's a whole political campaign condensed into 10 vivid minutes.</div>
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Matt Smith's <em>Mitt Romney Meets the Sphinx</em> is more on the nose than <em>Amphrite</em> and <em>Sex Life</em>, but it's still a sharp satire, like a living political cartoon. Mitt Romney is played by Curtis Eastwood, who doesn't go for easy impersonation but still manages to say some very Romneyesque lines—"I'm a businessman; I know about business" and "I'm confident I hear what you're saying"—with a chipper Mormon lilt. He must gain the approval of the Sphinx (Allison Strickland, covering every syllable of dialogue with silk until it's time to pounce) who assures Romney, "You need my blessing... my <em>sexy</em> blessing" in order to win the presidency. Let's face it: When you're looking to parody the way candidates have to mutilate their core beliefs to win elected office, it's virtually impossible to go over the top.</div>
</div>Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-64751128568329591862011-10-30T11:09:00.000-07:002011-10-30T11:10:45.740-07:00Kittens in a Cage at The GalaMy new play, "Kittens in a Cage" is being produced at Annex Theater in July!!! <br />
We did a reading at their Silver Anniversary Gala.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKQ9XatV0gxFpj0fLIwlD0MSo49umXE6ZrueNpekbNt9MF3dzqNY47rhyqXWRY9ZStSiTT1fRCssMO72tPIksW37CSOIqK70_fNYJhpMkGB-qP6Kjc4MsUgvrb3xv7_T7qWPhXFS98B8/s1600/IMG_1707.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKQ9XatV0gxFpj0fLIwlD0MSo49umXE6ZrueNpekbNt9MF3dzqNY47rhyqXWRY9ZStSiTT1fRCssMO72tPIksW37CSOIqK70_fNYJhpMkGB-qP6Kjc4MsUgvrb3xv7_T7qWPhXFS98B8/s400/IMG_1707.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3718100480625742140.post-78938992951595251542011-10-30T10:29:00.000-07:002011-10-30T11:02:36.579-07:00The Gregory Awards<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hey. The Gregory Awards Happened! I was nominated for my play, "Hearts are Monsters" Many glamorous Seattle Theater people came out to celebrate each other and the work. Congratulations to the winners! It was great fun to be included.</div>
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**The Gregory Awards are a set of honors dedicated to theatre in Washington State. Administered by Theatre Puget Sound, the Gregory Awards present an opportunity to come together to honor the outstanding work of our theatre practitioners, and to raise the visibility of the local theatre scene as a whole.Kelleen Conway Blanchardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266977985399224858noreply@blogger.com0